Gay Flashback

This is one hell of a long post

Catchy title isn't it? And I promise you my dear readers, you'd seriously enjoy the content of this post. There's two terms up there which I would delve in, let's go for the spicy one, GAY.

Those that who have known me for a long time ought to have know I'm actually gay. However, my stance on revealing my sexuality has changed ever since I got involved with StarCeleb last year. I thought it would be best to lay it low for awhile especially when I need support from the public (conservatives and open ones). Thus, I've removed most of the post regarding my acts of 'gay' (believe me, there aren't obscene ones at the first place). For those who came to follow my blog after StarCeleb, I apologize to you all for not telling you the truth.


Some of you might ask, what does Robbyaoi actually means? Robb is no doubt a English name that was given to me by Frankie when I enlightened him about his sexuality (Err, don't think dirty. No sex involved) during a Rotaract membership trip to Pangkor Island 3 years ago. Yaoi, is no foreign term for sexual perverts who adore hentai and Japanese literated. It simply means homosexual between illustrations/comics/anime. So if you actually catch the drift, it doesn't take a genius to tell I'm gay from my blog URL.


Yaoi, in general
Flashback happened to me when I read this post by Lilian. This of course, brings back memories of my visit to Penang last year during my birthday.

I was actually offered to celebrate my birthday in KL with other bloggers which I've already known for some time, but instead I went all the way to Penang for my plans since I really wanted to catch up with Cedric and also to meet Lilian. Little did I know, my birthday dinner was joined in by Timothy Tiah, the co-founder of Nuffnang. That truly made my day. I was really happy I went to Penang and celebrated my birthday at that time.

A picture we took during my birthday at Manila's Place, Gurney Plaza
Let me tell you guys something about Cedric. He's my old friend alright. How do I know him? Well, I've known him for years in mIRC in chatrooms for queers. He went by the nick of Toxic and usually found in #chineseplu, #gaymalaysia (DALNet). Known for his honesty in shooting people when they make apparent mistake, I took a liking for his attitude and counted him as buddy.

Then, he started his first blog and one of his post grabbed the attention of Lilian. Thus, Lilian took a liking to him and groomed him in the blogsphere. From starting off with almost no readers, Lilian got him a domain, help direct traffic for him, sponsor prizes for him to gain readership. Lilian actually did an amazing job. From a PR0 domain to a PR3 domain in 3 months time. Imagine that! My blog actually took 2 years to achieve PR3 and cedricang.com took 3 months thanks to Lilian's effort. I was amazed by this achievement. I congratulated him when I found out his domain reached PR3 when I checked for mine (I busybody and checked his also la!).

And then time passed. Things happened. Apparently Cedric and Lilian ain't getting along well. It was apparent when Lilian flamed Cedric in one of her blog post for his over-ambitious work in one of Nuffnang's event in Penang. That's when hell started to be apparent. Note that I said it went apparent and not happen.

At the time all these were going on, I was getting hate mails banging my sexuality and stuff from a new blogger Candy (think rebellious Britney Spears). That Candy's blog was created for the purpose of dishing people. She dished a few bloggers such as myself, Lilian, Cedric and Dakota. Next thing I know, I was contacted by Lilian and she told me secrets beyond my imagination.

She's God

Cedric was Candy.

She showed me proofs, MSN conversations (print screen), image shack ID and photo and it was apparent. How shocking it was to me, that Cedric would do such thing towards me just for a traffic hike? I for one, wouldn't say I've done anything significant to him, but I've always treated him with respect as a friend. After getting knowing about this, Candy has deleted his/her blog straight away.

The best part has yet to come when Lilian introduced me to Wing, owner of Rojaks. He then told me that he has been getting death threats to his son by me for the past few months in his blog. I was truly shocked by his story. He went on and told me, he has already got information about me, my IC, my address as he did his investigation on me well. However, he didn't lodge a police report against me because Lilian and Timothy told him that I wasn't such a person to issue death threat(thanks to me meeting Lilian and Timothy back in Penang at that time).

Further investigations showed matching IP from various blogs that the person who uses my nickname (SotongZai) to issue death threat to Wing was using the nick Cedric dropping comments in other blogs. The other comments left by that nickname seems legitimate to what Cedric would have commented as well.

I mean let's see the logic here, shall we? What has 2 grown-ups, Wing (a married successful man) and Lilian (married successful blogger) got against a 20 year old young blogger? Scared that he would outdo them? 2 adults won't just gang up and make lies against 1 kiddo, would they? That is nonsense!

I wouldn't speculate that it was definitely him since the proof was not substantial enough. However, the apparent facts aren't exactly in favor of Cedric's position and so I told him, that though I do not wish it was him that have done such a treachery of friendship towards me, I must be objective enough to see the facts. Ever since that statement of mine, Cedric has be wary of me and have stayed away from me. I on the other hand has been the same towards him.

I joined a new group of bloggers by the name of Shouterz. I seriously like the idea of having an interactive chatbox in my page. The creator of Shoutout was from Penang and goes by the name Lasker. Then when I made another visit to Penang, hoping to meet the Shouterz group. They are the usual youth bloggers of Penang Island, namely Cedric, Benji, Minny and etc. Well, looks like Cedric was influential enough to make almost the entire Shouterz team to boycott my meet-up with them. Thankfully, Lasker, Elise and Emily didn't abandon me. This statement is not a guess as another Shouter, Jeannie told me about it.


I smiled and told Jeannie that I was not sad that my friend did that to me. He was merely protecting himself at the cost of hurting others. I then expressed my point of view as followed;

He is a well-known youth blogger in the Island thanks to Lilian's grooming at first place. Then, during the feud, his readers split sides and some of them trusted in him for denying the gay acclamations.

My presence on the island once again after the incidents Lilian told me, threatens him that I might spoil his reputation. It is not surprising at all that he wants to keep his contacts away from me at all cost.

Let's review what I'm trying to say in this post.

1. I'm gay.
2. Cedric was a friend I knew from mIRC gay channels.
3. Cedric was Candy, flamed other bloggers to create issues and topics to generate clicks.
4. Someone gave out death threats using my nick at Rojaks and used the nick Cedric in other blogs.
5. Despite me still treating him as an equal, Cedric avoided and made most Shouters boycott meeting me.

So what would I want to conclude? Cedric, get a life and come out clean. People are much more comfortable being who they are. Take me for example. All my real friends know I'm gay. If your friends can't accept your sexuality, they are not friends at the first place.

Cheers
Robb