Many people asked me, how do you tell if someone is gay or not? What if you hit on the wrong guys?
My answer?
"All gays have gaydars. We can tell whether a person is straight or bent by a few looks, sometimes even at a glance."
Thus today, I'm going to share with you straight peeps on the tips of how to detect whether a person isgay "happy" or not and to avoid yourself getting detected as gay if you're straight or a closet gay who is ashamed of your sexuality.
Number One
Look at where his eyes are. Straight guys behave like Kennysia.
They stare at boobs. Gay guys don't. Maybe on fat boobs cause they're laughing at them. But when a cute guy passes by, guess where their eyes go? Fixed right on them. That is the first thing you need to observe if you want to know if someone's gay. Bring them shopping!
Heck, bring them to my blog and see whether their eyes turn wild looking at the photo below.
Number Two
People say that society stereotypes that feminine guys are gay. There is some truth to this stereotype. 90% of sissies are gay.
'Teapots' as what my colleague called them due to their bent hand/ limp wrist, are definitely very very gay. Come on, make ups, mascara, lip gloss. Come on, where can you hide, mate?
Number Three
Self Obsession. Most gays are very self obsessed as much as they love sex. This literally means they care how they look greatly be it body or face. Thus, it is not surprising that they are a lot of gays in most fitness centers and these peeps love to look at themselves. I'm talking about every opportunity to look at their own face!
Walk past a car and the mirror is reflecting his image, he pauses and swipe his hair. Every car window he passes he will glance at his own image (I'm literally describing myself here). Okay, just check his freaking online profile and look at his photos. If he has over half of the album with only pictures of himself posing for the camera, it's very likely that he's gay. Clear example below.
Click to enlarge
Number Four
Metrosexuality. David Beckham brought the whole era of gayness out in the open. Though he's not gay (Victoria is evidence along with his sons), but thanks to him, we get to identify more gays. Face the facts, straight guys don't dig fashion. The most you get from straight guys are branded suits, tux and that's about it. Mix and match? That's literally gay.
Do you think any straight guy would dress up like the model above? No a single chance. The only reason why the model is doing it, is because he's paid. If he's not, I bet my balls on it, he won't wear those clothes (unless of course, he's gay).
Check for clothings if you want to spot a gay. They usually have an extraordinary sense of fashion. I just hope that you manage to spot those with proper sense of fashion to put them outstanding from the crowd rather but there are some that ends up being eyesores due to their 'special' sense of fashion (believe me, there are).
Number 5
If you suspect someone's gay, there's no better way to dig the answer than to ask the question directly. If you and the guy you are asking are from Malaysia or Singapore, ask them this;
"Are you P.L.U. / plu?"
(pronouns either as Pee Al You or plue)
If his answer is anything but 'What's that?' or an instant 'No', you've got a case there. PLU stands for People Like Us which is a commonly used terms for gays and lesbians in Malaysia and Singapore as the word 'gay' is a lil taboo to be used in public conversations.
At any rate, these few ways I've listed are just guides and will not necessary ensure that you will be able to confirm 100% if someone's gay. That is of course unless he's like me, who is open about himself.
I better take my leave now before other closet gays come after me and murder me for exposing tips on how to spot a gay.
All tips revealed are only true for Malaysian gay detections.
These tips may not work in other countries.
Should anyone be offended by this blog post, please get the sands out of your pussy before it kills you.
If there is a hell for gays, I believe there's one for people who discriminates too.
P.S. My colleague Yee Hou taught me what chocolate starfish means today. It means asshole! Fuck! I did not see that coming!
Cheers
Robb
My answer?
"All gays have gaydars. We can tell whether a person is straight or bent by a few looks, sometimes even at a glance."
Thus today, I'm going to share with you straight peeps on the tips of how to detect whether a person is
Number One
Look at where his eyes are. Straight guys behave like Kennysia.
They stare at boobs. Gay guys don't. Maybe on fat boobs cause they're laughing at them. But when a cute guy passes by, guess where their eyes go? Fixed right on them. That is the first thing you need to observe if you want to know if someone's gay. Bring them shopping!
Heck, bring them to my blog and see whether their eyes turn wild looking at the photo below.
Number Two
People say that society stereotypes that feminine guys are gay. There is some truth to this stereotype. 90% of sissies are gay.
'Teapots' as what my colleague called them due to their bent hand/ limp wrist, are definitely very very gay. Come on, make ups, mascara, lip gloss. Come on, where can you hide, mate?
Number Three
Self Obsession. Most gays are very self obsessed as much as they love sex. This literally means they care how they look greatly be it body or face. Thus, it is not surprising that they are a lot of gays in most fitness centers and these peeps love to look at themselves. I'm talking about every opportunity to look at their own face!
Walk past a car and the mirror is reflecting his image, he pauses and swipe his hair. Every car window he passes he will glance at his own image (I'm literally describing myself here). Okay, just check his freaking online profile and look at his photos. If he has over half of the album with only pictures of himself posing for the camera, it's very likely that he's gay. Clear example below.
Click to enlarge
Number Four
Metrosexuality. David Beckham brought the whole era of gayness out in the open. Though he's not gay (Victoria is evidence along with his sons), but thanks to him, we get to identify more gays. Face the facts, straight guys don't dig fashion. The most you get from straight guys are branded suits, tux and that's about it. Mix and match? That's literally gay.
Do you think any straight guy would dress up like the model above? No a single chance. The only reason why the model is doing it, is because he's paid. If he's not, I bet my balls on it, he won't wear those clothes (unless of course, he's gay).
Check for clothings if you want to spot a gay. They usually have an extraordinary sense of fashion. I just hope that you manage to spot those with proper sense of fashion to put them outstanding from the crowd rather but there are some that ends up being eyesores due to their 'special' sense of fashion (believe me, there are).
Number 5
If you suspect someone's gay, there's no better way to dig the answer than to ask the question directly. If you and the guy you are asking are from Malaysia or Singapore, ask them this;
"Are you P.L.U. / plu?"
(pronouns either as Pee Al You or plue)
If his answer is anything but 'What's that?' or an instant 'No', you've got a case there. PLU stands for People Like Us which is a commonly used terms for gays and lesbians in Malaysia and Singapore as the word 'gay' is a lil taboo to be used in public conversations.
At any rate, these few ways I've listed are just guides and will not necessary ensure that you will be able to confirm 100% if someone's gay. That is of course unless he's like me, who is open about himself.
I better take my leave now before other closet gays come after me and murder me for exposing tips on how to spot a gay.
All tips revealed are only true for Malaysian gay detections.
These tips may not work in other countries.
Should anyone be offended by this blog post, please get the sands out of your pussy before it kills you.
If there is a hell for gays, I believe there's one for people who discriminates too.
P.S. My colleague Yee Hou taught me what chocolate starfish means today. It means asshole! Fuck! I did not see that coming!
Cheers
Robb
28 comments:
hmm..interesting..whats PLU???I dont get it..hahaha..
but gay guys are hot :P
HAAAAAAAA!! i'm right about 1 of my seniors in my uni..i'm 99.99999% sure he's definitely GAY..with his fashion sense and sissiness..
P/S - PLU is People Like Us..hehehe
O_o
all quite right, except for the PLU part. at least in SG's case.
good tips anyway.
lolol nice post.
i'll show it to all my friends who thinks im gay :P
PLU.
Weird abbreviation, eh?
I was like, "how do you pronounce PLU". hahahahah
pretty interestingg post.
p/s: hey, metro people are HELL BETTER to look at than pureeee thick straight people.
there is this thang that always caught my eyes. i dont know what. the clothes, fashion, style and all that i guess. simply WOW
ok... i don't really get the choc starfish but it's ok.... :P and wah very detailed post robb! ooh do u know this one? what is an asian male who likes asian male?... i learnt the term is rice queen... cheeee
I think in Singapore they use the term "AJ" more than PLU.
When asked none of them know what AJ really means but they still using it.
Weird.
Is that what Limp Bizkit was trying to say with their album title?? "Chocolate Starfish and the Hot Dog Flavoured Water"... HMMM...
I remember reading up what AJ means.. but now, cant remember where I read them already..
When in Singapore, do as the Singaporeans do.. use AJ.. :)
I couldnt agree more with u Robb :) hehe.. so well written.. :)
I have my fair share of stories too lol...
owh shit!! i have many camwhore pictures!!!
how do u know these? r u plu too?
sue: yea. :D
yatz: ah, did he molest u then?
zac: plu actually originated from singapore. i guess the singaporean hates the malaysians for using their term thus a new term - aj?
jon: good :)
fauzi: pronounce as plue (say clue? replace c with p)
aronil: the right term is sticky rice. lou mai fan. glutious rice. pulut. lol. rice queen i think refers to sissies asian gay who like asian gay perhaps? queen - sissy or diva
bl: hmm.. food for thought.
mayz: yea, that made me wondered too. i too learned abt choc starfish back in the days of limp bizkit
eric: hahaha, then share with the world your stories la. :D
joshua: dun worry, u dun satisfy other criteria. lol
baby: of cuz. do a bit reading from my previous posts please.
Yeah! Gay Guys are really hot.
Singapore they use AJ?
that was my school name in Sg! haha...
nice post :)
gay guys are hot cuz they want to be, and make it happen.
straight guys can be real hot too. but well, they just dun wan to try. *shrugs*
great one....!=)
yeah, chocolate starfish means that. Everyone though that Limp Bizkit was releasing a gay album when they released " Chocolate starfish and the hot dog flavored water" CD
Wow... I think I learn something new today... Haha... All added inside my dictionary under the 'GAY' word section...
P.S: I totally agree that guys that are gay have strong sense in fashion... They can mix it up nicely, normal guys don't... What la~
Hey there are straight metros around too lah! (: nice post btw.
LOL, nice one Robb! You've pretty much hit it spot on, point for point =)
PLU is only for Malaysia, and AJ is for SG, although the term PLU DID come from SG. Guess they changed it to keep ahead maybe?
don't you mean tocklet starfish?
there's a saying, if a guy finish the whole post(as in read all)..it means his gay, cz he wanna check whether he's gay..a straight won't bother to check, he shud know who he is.
psst*better run b4 ppl throw slippers at me.
PLU? Lol I've never heard of that :S We use 'L' instead(thanks to The L Word). But it only applies to girls
Lol.. cool post.. =) ur like, a hero in the "happy" world..
it's my life: hero? now that's a bit exaggerating ain't it? lol
scoobz: erm, sad to say, i'm nt very informed abt the lesbian scene. that's why i only use the word gay. ehehe
charleskey: somehow, i agree with u. lol!
paul tan: yea, tocklet starfish as well. lol.
mark: perhaps. cuz they hated us being copycat? hahaha
kevin: yes. look at the mirror.
reiko: correct. ^^
xniquet: yea. euw```` hotdog flavored water.. euwwww
jessie: thanks!
zac: yea. no determination. not vain enough like me. lol
reddottyaddict: oh the horror~~~ does your school has lots of gays? lol
alexis marie: you bet!
another farnee post! beh tahan with kenny sia's pic la.. ahahah! the best part is the chocolate starfish...
HO MY GAWDDD.
>_<
very interesting blog.
haha.
but alredi have a gaydar even tho im not a boy.
i guess u can say im a fag hag =]
Charles Key said...
there's a saying, if a guy finish the whole post(as in read all)..it means his gay, cz he wanna check whether he's gay..a straight won't bother to check, he shud know who he is.
psst*better run b4 ppl throw slippers at me.
oh my Almighty One! I read through your whole blog on this gaydar thingy. I am gay? Well, I guess I am a little out on it. And rather comfortable with it too.
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