Robb's Past - Finding Others

I'm continuing my story without pictures of cute guys as many of you who read my story commented that it'd be easier without the eye candies distracting you. But if you'd like to see the eye candies' presence again in my blog, do voice out and comment as currently there isn't any. Thus, it'd remain this way till someone ask for it.

Okay, I cannot stand not putting any eye candies in such a long post. Here's one. Only one, okay?


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Being almost sure that I was gay, I started to find if there are others who are like me, gay. Before some straight people from Ipoh starts making a joke on this and pointing to the lane behind Ocean (belakang Ocean), let me stress that those are trannies. Of course I knew the differences between a tranny and a gay because as much as I'm open to stuff, I am still very very skeptical against trannies. Yes, they should have the rights to dress like a woman and still be a man but I should have my rights to express my skepticism towards them as well right?

A gay teenager. Where can he find other gays? Why, the Internet of course! I mean you can't possibly have such big balls when you're 15 and go around in your school asking if anyone else likes guys. I mean it's apparent if you see some of your schoolmates are sissies, but I'm not a sissy and I don't want to befriend a sissy! Yes, I know. A fat gay guy discriminating trannies and sissies aren't the best scenario in the world, but that was what happened back then. Lol.

The Internet is a vast world. Other than pornography, one can also find ways to contact each other. Gay portals existed way back then, the notorious Fridae.com and our neighbor's Sgboy.com is among the portals that I came across. However, both of them didn't appeal to me much as the geographical distance most of the users were in it was way too far for a studying teenager to even bother to try using it.

For me, I was introduced to mIRC since my family had its first computer. The sales team of the shop that we purchased a PC from even sent over a staff to teach us ignorant brats how to use the computer and the Internet, emails, mIRC chatting and many more. As I'm the kid who uses the computer the most due to gaming and online chatting, I explored certain features of mIRC, found out that chatrooms with a lot of people in them are usually... catered for sex. Take #klsex for example.

But one particular info took me by surprised. There was and still is a channel named #gaymalaysia (DALNet) and this channel has among the highest number of chatters in it among all the other channels in DALNet. That caught my attention and I hopped into the channel trying to find out more about others who are like me.

The channel took me by surprise. Most of them were busy seeking and advertising for themselves. Common lines found in the main channel;

23 176 55 6" cock serdang. Anyone wanna have fun tonight? PM me.

Kepong tonight?

I'm a slave looking for a master. Can anyone adopt me? I'm willing to do whatever you ask me to do.

Yes. I'm not kidding you. These lines are real. Lol.

I tried chatting decently there, but everyone in there was so focused on seeking sex which I had no idea why back then. I was tired of the way people chat in that channel as I was more interesting in getting to know people than jumping into sex at the age of 15. But I kept going back there trying to know more people who are more decent and eventually I found out from other chatters that there were other smaller gay chatrooms with are more decent (#chineseplu) or specific to your location such as #g-ipoh or #gaypenang .

These smaller channels are less busy than #gaymalaysia. No intensive sex seeking, but there still was, privately. #Chineseplu was the best channel back then due to the fact that the ops there banned sex seeking in public and in private (reported by user). So I got to know more about what other gays do, and their lives and I was happy to know a lot of net friends. Some of them were nice enough to even send over pictures of themselves (decent pic, mind you) for me to have a look. Back then, I had no webcam, no digital camera, no scanner thus I had nothing to send over back to others. This was also one of the reasons many other chatters ignore me due to the fact I had no self pic. How realistic the world is, huh? Lol. It's pretty much the same these days if I think.

Nevertheless, I managed to know a few close net gay friends. But it took me 2 years for me (17 years old) to gather enough courage to actually meet up with another gay who was from Ipoh. Guess what? The guy I was meeting was actually younger than me by 2 years. He was 15 and he was already in the circle hanging out with other gays. That kinda made me looked like a loser which I would admit, I was. Lol. His name was Sonnic. Yea, the hedgehog. That's what most people tell him till this day.

He was the first gay guy I met and he was somewhat decent and I actually asked him if he wants to be my boyfriend right after our first meet up. He was kind enough to sugarcoat his words and told me that I wasn't the guy he was looking for and we never saw or talk to each other again for a very long time due to the fact that he wanted to avoid me and I was embarrassed to talk to him after the rejection.

After a coward period of 2 months, I started to gather my courage back to meet other gays. There was another guy that was... 10 years older than me I think. I was 17 which makes him 27 back then. He didn't show me his picture prior to meet up and I was eager to know more people so I agreed. He came to my neighborhood and picked me up. He had a typical uncle look which if you ask me to judge today, he'd have probably looked like he was 35 back then. His name was Kent. I was afraid. Damn freaking afraid, going into a car with another gay guy. But lucky me, I was still fat. If he tried to do anything to me sexually, I was pretty sure I could resist thanks to my body size. But to think of it again, unless he was a chub chaser, most(not all) gays would rather cut their dicks than doing anything with another fat guy.

He brought me to Bougainvillea Building and treated me High Tea. We chatted over to know each other better and luckily, he sent me home, unharmed. I think he wasn't interested if you ask me. I'm very sure if I was better looking like what I am now, he'd have attempted a lot of things. Lol.

This experience wasn't that nice to me because;

1. The guy was an uncle
2. He wasn't cute/good looking
3. I learned nothing practical about being gay. Lol XD
   

Some time later, I got to know another kid. Probably 2 years younger than me (again!). We met up and I treated him lunch. He was actually in the same school as I was, SMI. His name was Kei Hoa. Despite the fact that he wasn't fat nor total fugly, I was not interested in him at all. Well, if someone ain't fat nor ugly, the reason why I'd say no - sissy. So after that lunch, we bid farewell, and just chat occasionally online.

I was quite eager to find a boyfriend back then due to the fact, I wanted to be loved and love another. The other reason - was to have sex. Lol. Sad to break the bubble to my dear readers, I didn't achieve this till a later part of my life, when I entered UTP.

This part, will be saved for the next post which I'll be sharing the incident that made me determined to lose 40kg in weight and changed how I look. After that, I'll be talking about Billy once again, my first time on bed and many more juicy bits for you to read.

So hang on. :D

Cheers
Robb

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