Emo Today
Emo post ahead. Don't bother reading if you wish I'll die tomorrow
I just finished reading Fourfeetnine's blog post wishing her brother a Happy Birthday.
Read the entire post and the comments as well and you'll feel very warm and fuzzy. It's almost like you have imaginary butterflies flying around you. Yea, that kind of warmth. Their family is so intact, together and loving. It's like a TVB drama put together. Hahahaha.
Truth to be told, I think I was a little depressed after digesting what was shared by Audrey and her family. Reason? Well, being a Chinese, you tend to compare a lot of stuffs and this scenario is no different. I wouldn't say my family isn't loving or warm but somehow.. it's just different.
Here we go again, sharing my thoughts on my family, and this time in not a very positive manner.
My dad is the man of house. He has everything a typical Chinese dad has - brains and absolute authority over everything in the house. He works really hard to put food on the table for the family. He lays down the rule of what is acceptable and what isn't and if things don't go his way, he'll punish without hesitation - canning when we were still children. As we grew older, canning was no longer practical, but that didn't stop him from exerting the authority as he was still the dad who pays for our meals and lives. He doesn't talk much to the family nor share what's in his mind at all.
My mum endured quite a tough life of her own. Coming from a relatively poorer household, she didn't exactly have a lot when she was growing up. She practically spent quite a bit of her life servicing elder relatives, her own grandmother when she was young and my grandmother when she was still around. As a mother, she tried her very best to give a lot to her children and it's very seldom that we see her angry of us. We definitely appreciate that as she balanced the strict and cold dad we have. However, my mum is still subject to my dad's authority and that means sometimes my dad's actions can't be explained by my mum nor could she do anything about it.
My elder sister... I think the perfect word to describe her from me would be.. rival? Hahaha. We have always been at each others neck and trying to kill each other apart due to our different views in everything in life. I was very competitive in nature and my elder sister being the closest person I could compare myself with kinda get dragged along unwillingly. Our childhood was filled with disagreement with each other, how I thought I'm a better person that she was and vice versa. Dad's decision to send her to pursue medicine in Russia added more discontentment rooted deep down within me against her and let's just say that till today, we still have a fair share of things we do not see eye to eye in.
My younger sister is a blessed girl if you ask me. She was led up by 2 extremes siblings in the family, my elder sister for being stern, conservative with her values and follow-my-advice advices and me for being rebellious against the family strict rules, think for yourself instead of others and don't-blindly-listen-to-what-I-say advices. As such, she was able to digest the good qualities from both of us and made her own choices on what values she would be comfortable to live with and I'm happy to say that I see her living a pretty happy life on her own but of course, me being an extreme, I do have certain things I don't agree with her in life as well. But generally, I'm better with my younger sister than my elder sis.
Back when I was still living in Ipoh, the chain of authority was kinda like this;
Dad -> Mum -> Elder Sis -> Younger Sis -> Me
Yes. In case you don't know, the youngest child gets more attention and more protected in most families. Didn't help that I'm the only son, I wasn't given extra privileges. Instead, I was given extra beatings for crossing over the line all the time (told you I was rebellious). Guess what? I was actually gang bullied by my sister when I was growing up. I know, I am a loser. FML. T_T
My elder sister had physical advantage over the younger days of growing up and she has always used that against me. I remember well she took out a knife from the kitchen to threaten me and my parents didn't even cane her while most of my naughty acts get punished severely by the cane.
There are instances where my younger sister would kicked me for fun and then cried out loud. My parents would storm down the stairs with a cane and beat the shit out of me without listening to what actually happened.
Their individual acts were horrible enough on me. Guess what happened when they teamed up and collaborated their acts? I'm not even gonna share it cause it's just so depressing la. With such memorable incidents flashing through my mind, how can I not feel depressed when I read Audrey's post?
My parents weren't exactly helpful in understanding our lives unless it's life and death situation (like you cry cause of nervous breakdown like that). Mum was busy working (which I think she enjoys a lot, gives her freedom and life) most of the time while dad doesn't talk to you nor have the initiative to find out what's up in your life unless you speak out first. Even if you do so, most of the answers you'll get back are 1 word answers that puts an end to conversations straight away. As time passed by, I grew to not bother starting conversations anymore and it's fair for me to say, not one person from my family truly understood me when I was a teenager due to the fact I've given up in sharing my life to them as much as they've given up to find out about my life.
With an early childhood of unfair punishment & reward system and getting bullied by your sisters (shame on me) to a teenage of negligence where your family have no idea what you do nor have the initiative to find out.. I think it's safe for me to say I didn't exactly enjoyed my years of growing up that much.
Thus, when I read Audrey's blog... It was just painful for me and yet I feel happy for her family. I don't exactly have any main messages to send across today, I'm just rambling about how bad I feel. Hope you guys don't mind.
Emo
Robb
I just finished reading Fourfeetnine's blog post wishing her brother a Happy Birthday.
Read the entire post and the comments as well and you'll feel very warm and fuzzy. It's almost like you have imaginary butterflies flying around you. Yea, that kind of warmth. Their family is so intact, together and loving. It's like a TVB drama put together. Hahahaha.
Truth to be told, I think I was a little depressed after digesting what was shared by Audrey and her family. Reason? Well, being a Chinese, you tend to compare a lot of stuffs and this scenario is no different. I wouldn't say my family isn't loving or warm but somehow.. it's just different.
Here we go again, sharing my thoughts on my family, and this time in not a very positive manner.
My dad is the man of house. He has everything a typical Chinese dad has - brains and absolute authority over everything in the house. He works really hard to put food on the table for the family. He lays down the rule of what is acceptable and what isn't and if things don't go his way, he'll punish without hesitation - canning when we were still children. As we grew older, canning was no longer practical, but that didn't stop him from exerting the authority as he was still the dad who pays for our meals and lives. He doesn't talk much to the family nor share what's in his mind at all.
My mum endured quite a tough life of her own. Coming from a relatively poorer household, she didn't exactly have a lot when she was growing up. She practically spent quite a bit of her life servicing elder relatives, her own grandmother when she was young and my grandmother when she was still around. As a mother, she tried her very best to give a lot to her children and it's very seldom that we see her angry of us. We definitely appreciate that as she balanced the strict and cold dad we have. However, my mum is still subject to my dad's authority and that means sometimes my dad's actions can't be explained by my mum nor could she do anything about it.
My elder sister... I think the perfect word to describe her from me would be.. rival? Hahaha. We have always been at each others neck and trying to kill each other apart due to our different views in everything in life. I was very competitive in nature and my elder sister being the closest person I could compare myself with kinda get dragged along unwillingly. Our childhood was filled with disagreement with each other, how I thought I'm a better person that she was and vice versa. Dad's decision to send her to pursue medicine in Russia added more discontentment rooted deep down within me against her and let's just say that till today, we still have a fair share of things we do not see eye to eye in.
My younger sister is a blessed girl if you ask me. She was led up by 2 extremes siblings in the family, my elder sister for being stern, conservative with her values and follow-my-advice advices and me for being rebellious against the family strict rules, think for yourself instead of others and don't-blindly-listen-to-what-I-say advices. As such, she was able to digest the good qualities from both of us and made her own choices on what values she would be comfortable to live with and I'm happy to say that I see her living a pretty happy life on her own but of course, me being an extreme, I do have certain things I don't agree with her in life as well. But generally, I'm better with my younger sister than my elder sis.
Back when I was still living in Ipoh, the chain of authority was kinda like this;
Dad -> Mum -> Elder Sis -> Younger Sis -> Me
Yes. In case you don't know, the youngest child gets more attention and more protected in most families. Didn't help that I'm the only son, I wasn't given extra privileges. Instead, I was given extra beatings for crossing over the line all the time (told you I was rebellious). Guess what? I was actually gang bullied by my sister when I was growing up. I know, I am a loser. FML. T_T
My elder sister had physical advantage over the younger days of growing up and she has always used that against me. I remember well she took out a knife from the kitchen to threaten me and my parents didn't even cane her while most of my naughty acts get punished severely by the cane.
There are instances where my younger sister would kicked me for fun and then cried out loud. My parents would storm down the stairs with a cane and beat the shit out of me without listening to what actually happened.
Their individual acts were horrible enough on me. Guess what happened when they teamed up and collaborated their acts? I'm not even gonna share it cause it's just so depressing la. With such memorable incidents flashing through my mind, how can I not feel depressed when I read Audrey's post?
My parents weren't exactly helpful in understanding our lives unless it's life and death situation (like you cry cause of nervous breakdown like that). Mum was busy working (which I think she enjoys a lot, gives her freedom and life) most of the time while dad doesn't talk to you nor have the initiative to find out what's up in your life unless you speak out first. Even if you do so, most of the answers you'll get back are 1 word answers that puts an end to conversations straight away. As time passed by, I grew to not bother starting conversations anymore and it's fair for me to say, not one person from my family truly understood me when I was a teenager due to the fact I've given up in sharing my life to them as much as they've given up to find out about my life.
With an early childhood of unfair punishment & reward system and getting bullied by your sisters (shame on me) to a teenage of negligence where your family have no idea what you do nor have the initiative to find out.. I think it's safe for me to say I didn't exactly enjoyed my years of growing up that much.
Thus, when I read Audrey's blog... It was just painful for me and yet I feel happy for her family. I don't exactly have any main messages to send across today, I'm just rambling about how bad I feel. Hope you guys don't mind.
Emo
Robb
20 xtra squirt(s):
*Pat pat* My sister and I sometimes gang up on my brother also heehee. (He's the youngest). But we don't mean it. :D
Come, I bring you go Jalan Cockman eat KFC hahaha!
awww.. dun emo..
every family has their downside and dark secrets..
what's important is that you do what you can to make a better today and tomorrow!
Cheer up! =D
robb your post touched me a lot too :)
my family too isn't as perfect as it seems but i just choose to focus on the good things that we shared:) although my bro and i played together a lot we also fought like crazy and really beating each other up. my bro even spat at me once!
don't think our families are that diff haha cos barry also always used to get caned because i would tell on him to my parents *ashamed. so what i wanted to say is i have no doubt ur parents love u as do your sisters. diff ppl just have diff ways of showing it?
*hugs
you have me now.. :-)
Sounds like Middle Child Syndrome.
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Middle%20Child%20Syndrome
http://www.indiaparenting.com/articles/data/art09_029.shtml
I can so feel you regarding this entry, especially the dad part, exactly the same T__T
don't be sad robb..cheer up..past is past..focus on what u have today so that u will never experience the same thing again...
Cheer up dude...
Becoz the challenge and memory of back days only form today you yourself! Be greatful of ownself :):)
every family have their own style of bringing up their children.i can understand that now and got so touch reading your post.I am the big bully to my brother those days,but i feel guilty when i read up this.
maybe its so unfair to him.but yet i am happy that he SEEMS to have forgive me for what i have done to him those days.haha!!u guys are from the same family so why not try to forget the past and forgive them??they still love you as their son deep in their heart.everything is over.be grateful and cheer up k?
*hug hug robb*
I'm a middle child too.
-Your straight colleague
Hugs
All happy families are alike, but an unhappy family is unhappy after its own fashion. we gotta accept it. cheer up =)
N
at least you have something else to concentrate in your life now.
you have your job and freedom. ;]
Hey! first time here. Hmm.. It's always like that. It doesn't matter if you are the elder brother or the younger brother.. Whenever something is wrong, its always the boy that is naughty.
Well, when i was young, my [elder] sister and I used to quarrel and even fight at times. and every time when we are in the fight, I will take the fight personally while my sister, she will shout very loudly at me, and say something like "Enough already lar, you kick me some more I tell mommy!"
Sure enough, my mother heard it, storm up stairs and scold me T.T kena pukul sumo not enuf.. kena marah ==
How can she involve parents in the fight... ... nvm, its always like that.. my cousins proved my theory right. hahaha.
i know what do you mean abt traditional family with bz parents. thats why i havent got the habit of telling them every bits of me.
hang in there..one day . one day ok?
*hug*
every family have their own dark side...
and like zach said..u already have him..so u not alone like before:)
i love all you peeps.
you are all so sweet to me.
*touched* (not the private part though, lol)
aww, its ok Robb! Life works out in the end for all of us. Just keep your head up and tell fourfeetnine how grateful you are.
I think u should be glad that your parent were very strict with you. I don't know you, but i am quite sure u will turn out VERY spoilt if they were to adore u like 123215421 parents with single son do out there. As u always say, u are rebellious by nature. High chances that u will do the exact same thing to your sister if the situation between u and ur sis is reversed
Cheer up ler.. Chinese saying " Every household have It own dificulties sutra" ma.. Most important Is no matter how hard try to pull your family together for some close family time !
B Happy always!^_^
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